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from:nocturnalem

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Last night I had a dream where my ex had my mom's face. These are the things that make my life wonderful. 
About 3 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
How very lovely that there is jackhammering going on 60 feet beneath me. That's what she said! 
About 1 day ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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@Leekush Why?! He's hilarious! I mean, I got Hillary Clinton, but Alec Baldwin's not bad either... Okay, I see what you mean. Hahahaha. 
About 1 week ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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So first workout of the year wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was going to be, although repeating it regularly probably will be. 
About 6 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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Worst dream I've had in a long time... Really possible and realistic too. Yay... 
About 6 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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Whoever calls me back first gets to be the first lucky person to hear the bad news! Don't all rush at once! 
About 4 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
New catchphrase: Jealous. As in, "You're eating a sandwich? Jealous!" or "You didn't wake up abruptly from a nightmare this AM? Jealous!" 
About 6 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
The description to your Fbook baby album says you love your baby. Weird. I mean, it's only your flesh/blood that you planned to have. 
About 6 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
"Wonderful Tonight," is playing, my HS prom song to which I danced with my ex-boyfriend. His shirt was soaked w/ sweat frm excessive dancing 
About 5 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
piT tweets ?
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Fuck you, Korean girls, for talking loudly all through your workout and mine; you are NOT cute. 
About 1 day ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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"Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, Just pee on it and walk away." - Silly fwd I got today 
About 1 day ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
Hey, remember when Tila Tequila wasn't totally crazy? Oh, the good ol' days... when she was just an attention-hungry, dirty, Asian skank. 
About 6 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
Other tweets ?
ToFrom
Umbrella graveyard, two blocks long, William St -- 11 deceased black umbrellas. 
About 11 hours ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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Smells like cigarettes and cleaning supplies... Am I in a vegas bathroom? 
About 15 hours ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
Remember that old sex ed vid where a girl with pms gets mad at her dad for buying her the jacket she wanted. Women are sooo irrational. 
About 1 day ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
From now on, when people ask me what I do, I will tell them I lead a life of leisure. I mean, working full-time is just sooo bourgeois. 
About 2 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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Lord, beer me strength. 
About 2 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
Hasids get all the hot girls. 
About 6 days ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
ToFrom
Well sometimes I go out by myself, and I look across the water. & I think of all the things what you're doin', in my head I paint a picture. 
About 1 week ago.Re-TipRetweetReply
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