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from:nocturnalem

Tips from TipTop, the Insight Engine
Tips
ToFrom
Ooh, baby, I love when you're fickle. Boner! 
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A vampire having sex with humans is like me having sex with chocolate cakes... Awesome, that is, albeit commonplace. 
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I miss you already. I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I love you, and I can only hope you're in a better place now. 
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OH MY GOD, FOREIGN ROOMMATE, STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS AND USE GOOGLE. SRSLY. 
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Two girls just walked past me. The snippet of their convo I heard: "It was insane in the membrane." Nice. 
piTs
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Today at work, I screwed around, hung out with my friend for an hour, got a free facial, and worked out. Life ain't bad. 
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My roommate asked me if he could join me on the couch. What I said: "Uh... yeah." What I wanted to say: "You smell terrible... so no." 
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Why can't people walk while they smoke? Does moving inhibit your ability to enjoy the poison you're sucking into your lungs or something? 
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Hey, if you can't eat your feelings, smoke 'em... In a fire, that is. Because I advocate tendencies toward pyromania, not drug addiction. 
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I watched The Devil Wears Prada earlier today, and now I'm watching The Princess Diaries. What's with Anne Hathaway and makeover movies? 
Neither
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The first few hours felt like minutes. Now it feels like days or weeks since I found out. I'm worried I'll forget his face. 
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Why are women in Nuva Ring commercials worried about putting contraceptives in their vaginas when penises are already going in them? 
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Dating is all about finding the balance between your actual personality and that of someone dateable. 
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More than 1/2 the people I like remind me of someone else I like, and most of the time, it's the only reason I like them. #nomoneyfortherapy 
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My roommate is not from around here. He asks me many questions. I am not a tour guide; tour guides make money. Cough it up, Hans. 
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Anne Hathaway is to makeover movies as Hilary Swank is to lesbian movies. 
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